If you are attending family dispute resolution (mediation), you may hear about the requirement to make a “genuine attempt” to resolve your matter.
This is not just a general idea; it has a specific legal meaning. At the end of mediation, a family dispute resolution practitioner may issue a certificate. One of the things they must consider is whether each party made a genuine attempt to resolve the issues.
Understandably, this can raise a question:
What does that actually look like? And perhaps more importantly: How do you approach mediation in a way that is meaningful, not just a box to tick?
It is important to understand from the outset that simply attending mediation is not, on its own, a genuine attempt.
You can be physically present, say very little, reject everything put forward, and leave exactly where you started. Technically, you attended, but you did not really engage. A genuine attempt is not measured by attendance. It is measured by participation.
What family dispute resolution practitioners are looking for
When a practitioner considers whether a genuine attempt has been made, they are not looking for agreement. They are not assessing who was “right” or “wrong.” Instead, they are looking at how each person approached the process. Did you engage in a way that showed a willingness to explore resolution?
That might be reflected in several ways.
It may be seen in your preparation whether you came to mediation with a basic understanding of your position and what matters most to you.
It may be reflected in your communication, whether you were able to express your views clearly, but also listen to what was being said.
It may be evident in your decision-making whether you were prepared to consider options, even if you ultimately decided they were not acceptable.
And it is often seen in your overall approach, whether you remained focused on moving forward, rather than staying anchored in past conflict.
While every mediation is different, a genuine attempt will usually include:
- a willingness to engage in discussion, even where issues are difficult
- an openness to hearing proposals from the other party
- consideration of whether there is any room to move
- a focus on resolving issues, rather than simply defending a position
None of this requires you to agree. But it does require you to participate in a meaningful way. It is equally important to be clear about what a genuine attempt does not mean.
You are not required to:
- accept an outcome that is unfair or unworkable
- make concessions that do not sit comfortably with you
- agree simply to avoid further conflict
Holding your position does not mean you have failed to make a genuine attempt.
Refusing to engage with the process altogether is a different thing.
The risk of “box ticking” and the value of a real attempt
It can be tempting to approach mediation as something you need to “get through” in order to move on to the next step, particularly if you believe agreement is unlikely. But approaching mediation this way often results in a missed opportunity.
When the focus is on ticking the box, conversations remain surface-level, positions become fixed, and the process can feel frustrating or unproductive.
More importantly, it can reinforce conflict rather than reduce it. When mediation is approached as a genuine opportunity, rather than an obligation, something shifts. Even where full agreement is not reached, there are often real benefits.
Parties may gain:
- a clearer understanding of each other’s position
- insight into what is driving the dispute
- a narrowing of the issues that truly need to be resolved
In some cases, resolution happens in the room. In others, it happens shortly after, because the groundwork has been laid.
And even where agreement is not possible, a genuine attempt often places you in a stronger position moving forward. You are clearer, more informed, and better prepared for the next step. If you are preparing for mediation, a helpful question to ask yourself is:
“Am I prepared to engage in this process, even if I’m not sure we will agree?”
A meaningful approach does not require optimism. It requires willingness: willingness to listen, reflect and consider whether there is a path forward. That may feel like a small shift, but in practice, it makes a significant difference.
A final thought
One of the genuine attempts is not about the outcome on the day.
It is about whether you have approached the process in a way that gives resolution a real chance.
When that happens, mediation becomes more than a requirement. It becomes an opportunity to clarify, to progress, and sometimes, to resolve.
And even when it doesn’t resolve everything, it often moves things further forward than you might expect.
