For Birth Mothers and Their Partners
Choosing to become a birth mother (surrogate), or to support someone who is, is a significant and generous decision.
Surrogacy is often spoken about from the perspective of intended parents. But your role is just as important.
You are not simply part of the process, you are central to it.
This page is designed to help you understand what is involved, what to expect, and how to approach the surrogacy journey in a practical and informed way.
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Understanding Your Role
As a birth mother, you will:
- carry and give birth to the child
- be the child’s legal parent at birth
- later consent to a parentage order transferring parentage to the intended parents
If you have a partner, they may:
- also be recognised as a legal parent at birth
- be involved in counselling and legal advice
- play an important support role throughout the process
Understanding this from the outset is important. It helps avoid confusion later and allows everyone to move forward with clarity.
Why You Might Be Considering Surrogacy
Every situation is different.
For some, surrogacy is about helping a close friend or family member. For others, it may come from a broader desire to assist someone to become a parent.
There is no single “right” reason.
What matters is that the decision is considered, informed and one you feel comfortable with.
Your Health and Practical Considerations
Surrogacy involves pregnancy, and with that comes physical and practical considerations.
You will need to:
- undergo medical assessment
- be comfortable with the physical demands of pregnancy
It is also important to think about:
- your existing family and responsibilities
- your work and time commitments
- what support you may need during pregnancy and after birth
Planning for these things early can make a significant difference.
The Relationship with Intended Parents
Surrogacy is built on relationships. You will be working closely with the intended parents throughout the process.
This involves good communication, shared expectations and mutual respect.
Some practical things to consider:
- how often you will communicate
- involvement during medical appointments
- how decisions will be discussed
- what the relationship may look like after the child is born
Open conversations early on help avoid misunderstandings later.
Required Steps
Counselling
Counselling is a required part of the surrogacy process.
Before entering into an arrangement all parties attend counselling with a qualified counsellor.
This provides an opportunity to:
- explore motivations
- discuss expectations
- work through potential challenges
- understand the emotional aspects of the process
Further counselling is required after the child is born as part of the parentage process.
Counselling is not just a requirement, it is a support.
Legal Advice
You will receive independent legal advice before entering into a surrogacy arrangement.
This advice will cover:
- your legal rights and obligations
- what it means to be the legal parent at birth
- how parentage is transferred
- what happens if circumstances change
This is your opportunity to ask questions and make sure you are comfortable with the process.
Understanding Expenses
Surrogacy in Queensland must be altruistic.
This means you are not paid, but you can be reimbursed for reasonable expenses.
These may include:
- medical expenses
- travel and accommodation
- maternity-related costs
- counselling and legal expenses
- lost income in certain circumstances
It is important that:
- expenses are discussed clearly
- arrangements are agreed early
- everything is transparent
For Partners: Your Role Matters
If you are the partner of a birth mother, your role is important.
You may (depending on whether you are married, or how long you have been living together):
- be involved in counselling and legal processes
- be recognised as a legal parent at birth
- provide practical and emotional support
Some ways to stay involved:
- attend appointments where possible
- be part of discussions and decisions
- ask your own questions
- seek support if needed
Common Challenges to Be Aware Of
Surrogacy is a structured process, but it is also a human one.
Some challenges that can arise include:
- differences in expectations
- communication issues
- emotional complexity during pregnancy
- uncertainty about post-birth relationships
These are not unusual.
Being aware of them helps you approach the process with more confidence.
A Practical Approach
Birth mothers and their partners who navigate the process well tend to:
- take time before agreeing to proceed
- ask questions and seek advice early
- communicate openly
- be clear about boundaries and expectations
- stay connected to their support network
Surrogacy is not something to rush.
It is something to approach thoughtfully and with the right support around you.
How We Can Help
We provide independent legal advice to birth mothers and their partners, including:
explaining your legal rights and obligations
advising on the surrogacy agreement
ensuring you understand the process before moving forward
Our role is to make sure you are informed, supported and comfortable with your decision.
next steps
If you are considering surrogacy, a good place to start is understanding what is required before conception.
Watch our webinar on the whole surrogacy process from start to finish, from a legal view.
Download our Pre-Conception Checklist
Download our Surrogacy Budget Planner
Or contact us to discuss your situation